Every once in a while I pick up a book, skim a few pages, and am immediately convinced that I’m going to enjoy it immensely.  I don’t know why that should be so, but I am seldom wrong.  “No Hope for Gomez!” by Graham Parke is such a book and it did not disappoint.

How to describe the plot of “No Hope for Gomez?”  It would be easy enough to simply copy the pitch on the back cover which is as follows:

“It’s the age-old tale:
Boy meets girl
Boy stalks girl
Girl already has a stalker
Boy becomes her stalker-stalker
We’ve seen it all before, many times, but this time it’s different.  If only slightly.”

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?  But wait.  The story is much more complicated than that.  Let’s start with the story’s hero, Gomez Porter.  Gomez is a diffident, mostly neurotic young man filled with ambitions, dreams, ideas, and plans that change hourly, if not by the minute---none of which ever work out.  Even his name was hastily contrived when his mother and father could not agree on a suitable first name for their new born child.  In frustration, the father asked the man in front of him in the birth registration line what his name was.  Gomez, the man replied and from that moment on, young Mr. Porter was destined to become Gomez Porter.  In summary, if I were casting the role of Gomez Porter in a movie, I would choose a young Woody Allen.

As often happens, Gomez is surrounded by people who are of the same psychological ilk.  In his antique store---which hardly ever makes a sale—he is assisted by Hicks, a gloomy and ubiquitous young man, who seems to live in another world. Even Warren, the neighbor who lives in the apartment directly below him, is a constant source of conflict and annoyance.  Warren is a novelist wannabe who is constantly nagging Gomez to read his manuscript, which Gomez steadfastly refuses to do.  Also, Warren makes weird sounds late at night that sound like he is boiling a pan of salamanders on his balcony.  Gomez and Warren argue constantly about the manuscript and salamander issue and at one point, the conflict gets so heated that Gomez awakes late at night to the sound of Warren drilling holes in the ceiling below and up into Gomez’s living room floor.At the same time all this is going on, Gomez is a test subject in an experimental drug trial and while participating, falls madly in love with a sexy, young research assistant, whom he insists on calling “Dr. Hargrove.”  She, in turn, falls for Gomez; although it turns out she is unable to express herself in terms outside the realm of science.  This leads to some hilarious dialogue, like the night she takes the bull by the horns and calls Gomez to tell him she is at home and is wearing her lab coat.  After several fits and starts, he finally realizes where all this is going, and replies that the coat is a real turn-on---“neat and hygienic, but slutty at the same time.” “It’s really tight,” she responds, “Especially around my breasts.  And it completely hides my fat thighs.”  Needless to say, their clumsy attempt at phone sex dies before it reaches full bloom!

Gomez and Dr. Hargrove’s boy-meets-girl story would have stumbled on for quite some time had it not been for one tiny detail: one of the trial participants turns up dead and another goes missing.  Meanwhile, Dr. Hargrove feels she is being stalked by an unknown person.  Feeling more paranoid by the day, and fearing for his life, Gomez decides to go underground and work out a devious plan to tie all these untidy facts together.  Further, he enlists the help of his neighbor Warren to assist him.  It never occurs to him that:  1) He has absolutely no talent for being devious; and 2) Warren is the worst choice he could possibly make for his co-conspirator.  Nevertheless, the two of them soldier on, and that’s when the plot begins to thicken, become more and more convoluted, and finally unwinds to a surprising conclusion.

Graham Parke’s writing reveals that he is a witty and talented man.  I particularly like the book’s format, which consists exclusively of a series of blog entries written by Gomez for the experimental drug trial.   It is an interesting approach; one that I find very readable.  “No Hope for Gomez!” by Graham Parke is a very funny book; a veritable page turner of nonstop laughs.  Buy a copy and find out for yourself!